the desolation of SMUG

boys. girls?

allow us now to condense twelve months of experience into one wobbling mass and then extrapolate into the beyond-mosphere.

AMAZING RADIO

the year began with our tumbling towards londonville to record a session for bella union kingpin simon raymonde for his amazing radio show.

summary & conclusion - it was a nice thing to do. highlights included:

• the engineer locking himself and consequently us out of the studio the second we arrived
• a sumptuous trend-burger at the sebright arms
• managing to empty a soho gay bar with our mere existence
• seeing the bassist from our heroes "the killers" in a metal pub
• taking 2 hours to get checked into a travelodge in some shapeless north london motorway town in the small hours - including being briefly ushered into a room which contained a sleeping family, 
• endless vomiting.
• creating edgy theoretical comedian PAUL FUCK in the 6 hour drive back to salford and almost crashing due to tears of laughter blindness

ALRIGHT GIGS

shows were fairly sparse for us this year as you may have gathered from our not-so-passive-aggressive tweets and mail outs. the ones we did do, however, were largely decent and widely spread, including three festivals.

dublin as an outing was fine, marred mainly by a soundman who defied his own description by instead being a cuntofaman. it was our first gig outside of the UK as well as our first SOLD OUT gig. unfortunately as it was the local headliners who had SOLD OUT the gig and as their coachload of fans hadn't turned up by the time we played, we performed to about 4 people - with several of our friends having to stand outside due to the gig having SOLD OUT.

the great escape festival in brighton was a high point of the year, made possible by ed from resonance fm. even being wrongly fined £300 by the hotel for (not) smoking in the room could not taint the overall experience. we shan't stoop so low as to name of the hotel of lying twats here, but should any of you be considering cheap hotels in said town, message us and we will spill t'beans.

in august we travelled on a high spirited 13 hour ferry trip to play incubate in the netherlands, taking in hull city centre en route and searching for the fabled statue of strangers son's gareth smith's great grandfather.

the trip was not without stress with our backline only being confirmed shortly before we performed, and a hungover drive from rotterdam to tilburg where 50% of the band were wilfully & relentlessly unhelpful/inflammatory for the duration.

we were sheltered by a local couple max and marieke who fed us chicken egg & pig-meat and then winced in horror as one of the band demonstrated his lack of aptitude in wielding a cheese spade (cheese peeler). they also played a guessing game where they correctly identified aiden as bassist due to his beard and check shirt and incorrectly identified stephen as anything but the singer due to his everything.

more locally we have done decent gigs in preston, manchester and dogstock in bolton. in each case sharing stages with excellent bands/people inc. total victory, phlegm fatales, politburo and locean. we extend our grovelly gratitude to em and recommend y'all listen t'em.

OKAY PRACTICES

FLASHBACK to the start of the year where we headed straight back into the practice room in the wake of BALLAST III to assemble the bones of album#5.

in april we recorded six songs in a studio, although these recordings are set to be superceded by self recorded dopplegangers. as with most band-related decisions the decision to self record was largely practical/economical. such restraints however are always to embraced and we're confident we have crafted something overcooked and horrid as per.

progress on the album has been mildly hampered by being turfed out of our permanent practice room in september for non-exciting reasons. we now have a new one the location of which cannot be disclosed because why would you care

ALMOST RECORD

2013 will go down in pop history as the first year since M.I. slithered into existence where no new music was released. this is partially deliberate, and calm down anyway it will be out in Q1.

we wish each of you and your families health and wealth, and if we have not yet clarified that we are basically grateful to anyone who has given us a platform, or listened to our music over these past 12 months - then we are...

(getfucked)

thanks,
monster island

(the flyover)

psychogeographer society
i've got a few bones
to pick with you.

you're diluting your own myth
by using your own ink,

the sound
is click. click. click.

click. click. click.
click. click. click.

and as they shovel the salt into the sores of my eyes
i hear them cackle as they rub the gravel deep into their thighs.

cheeks daubed with double yellow lines,
dancing round concrete prop me ups
like a maypole,

a clumsy ritual to the holy land
of social housing broadband
and tower block romance.

i fell in love with the rubble
the immobile reserve no reverence for.

i did not know that there was so much
poetry below the poverty line,

i heard the sadness
in their accents
and i made it mine,

i left some lipstick on the sliproad.

slipping into moth eaten stockings.
straining to stick to a 1920s philosophy

i am proud to say
you have nothing to offer me.

you have nothing to offer me
except double yellow lies.

the smoother the hands
the less wise a girl or a man

reserve your scowls,
i am anti-cape. anti-cowl.

welcome to this year!

hello dear friends,
twenty twelve was a year of tumult and of small triumphs. and so let us reflect.

WULF! WULF!

the year began with manc pups wu lyf on letterman. but it was not enough. the year ended with their demise. their parameters of success had shifted beyond all scope. what hope did any of us have?

FURTHER DEMISE

in the shitty summer long time monsters wes and lewis fled south and east for reasons academic and pastoral. but in twenty twelve part one there was doublefun to be had. the shipley bowling alley big lebowski party. lauren paradox’s birthday at islington mill. finally playing SFTOC. fuel for scenewipers. farewell sweetheart and cutie pie, you did right good.

TWO WITNESSES ARRIVE

but brendan and aiden lunged from the shadows meaning a camden gig cancellation was avoided and the band saved,. they brought with them elasticity and nimbleness and gouged their fingers deep into the grout of the retaining wall. embrace them both closely to your bosoms.

A VIRAL MARKETING CASE STUDY

a series of videos served as a creativity/ego binge but also as a controlled experiment.

with the grizzled god of the ad hoc and chaos ruling the musical universe, and the neverending churn of tunes, how could anyone hope to sustain the gaze of those at the top of the pyramid of influence? by serving up your own constant churn. that’s how.

it didn’t really work.

TRW has had 95 downloads of the retaining wall and 3 proper reviews (thanks bibby/osborne/foster). there were a few pieces on the videos but these seemed to diminish in number with each release despite each song objectively being better than the last.

in conclusion, this approach will probably not be used again.

MOVING FORWARDS/ONWARDS/UPWARDS

we have now cleared out our musical loft
we’ve anointed a fourth man to our clan.
we’ve probably plateaued in terms of interest/fanbase
our singer has left his job of the last five years
you can taste a change in the water and also in the soil,
twenty thirteen will be an interesting year - for us if not for you.

highlights:
BALLAST III
writing and recording this:
http://monsterisland.bandcamp.com/album/the-retaining-wall
the palladium gig
making the vids
sounds from the other city

lowlights:
continued shunning from scene thug Marc “Lard” Riley
not winning any medals or money
almost playing at the incubate festival in holland but then being vetoed by JR*

look after yourself everyone.

some might have you believe that we don’t love each and every one of you.

listen to our music http://monsterisland.bandcamp.com
and read our words - http://islandmonster.blogspot.com

then ask yourself who are the real cynics.

love & light & rock n Lolz.
monster island. XXX